Ladies, we’ve all been there. You’re relaxing, treating yourself to a mani/pedi and suddenly you’re stuck in the middle of some 1950’s sales pitch. Want to be more beautiful? Waiting for him to pop the question? Want to look 10 pounds slimmer? Well have we the solution for you! Gel nails will solve all your problems in two easy steps for just $15 more.
Sound too good to be true? Yeah, it is. Gel nails do offer some benefits. They last longer and they dry instantly, so when your nails are painted you’re ready to leave. You don’t have to worry about smudging your nails on the steering wheel. Seriously, that sucks. Nothing ruins your day faster than paying $35 for nails that look like you painted them yourself. It seems worth the extra money. At first.
Okay, so you leave the nail salon and you’re ready to take on the world with your new indestructible nails. No worries, this polish isn’t coming off for anything. It’s the only thing besides a cockroach that will survive a nuclear holocaust. That’s great news compared to regular polish that chips if you do anything besides look helpless and dainty.
Once your nail starts to grow out the polish just inches on up, like a pair of flood pants in middle school. It’s gross. That polish isn’t going anywhere and your options are limited. So, without further ado, here are the 7 Reasons to NEVER Get Gel Nails.
1. UV LIGHTS
Yeah, yeah, we’ve all heard that hanging out under UV lights isn’t the best for you. When you get gel nails, they stick your freshly painted hand directly under a UV light for a total time of about 20 minutes. Talk about skin cancer central. If you MUST get the evil gel nail, put on some sunscreen first. Seriously. NEVER get gel nails.
2. STAGE 5 CLINGER
These nails are like a bad boyfriend that won’t go away. Long after your nails start growing out the polish is still holding strong. I am fairly certain you could stick your hand into a vat of acid and your nails would survive the encounter. Before you know it you have this awesome reverse french manicure. Not cute. Oh, and if you think this is come off easy, guess again. NEVER get gel nails.
3. ACETONE BATH
Sound unpleasant? It is. When you decide you can no longer stand the atrocity that has become your nails you’ll go back to the salon. They will then unload their arsenal of terrible techniques to remove the evil gel polish. Your precious fingers will spend the next 15 minutes or so soaking in a delightful bath of hot water and acetone. By the time it’s over your fingers will have begun to prune and turn white. Then they’ll get out a scraping tool and proceed to scrape off the indestructible coat of polish, along with the top layer of your nail. NEVER get gel nails.
4. PAPER THIN
At this point you’re probably thoroughly convinced that you’ll never get gel nails, EVER AGAIN! But then you see your nails. They are transparent, chipped, riveted and weak. It isn’t just ugly, it’s offensive. To top it all off your nails now have the consistency of parchment paper, which means you have no choice but to cut your nails down to the skin….or to get gel nails again. In a heat of the moment decision, you pick a color and leap just one more time. NEVER get gel nails.
5. GEL HELL CYCLE
Now you’re officially in what I’ve dubbed the gel hell cycle. You think this would have happened to me only once, but no. I’ve gotten trapped in the gel hell cycle twice now. I like to make mistakes 2-3 times just to be sure it was actually a mistake. Once you’ve had gel nails, you almost need them because your nails are structurally ruined. To save yourself the embarrassment of anyone seeing your torn up, paper thin nails you just keep coating them in the evil gel. It’s a cycle sure to disappoint. NEVER get gel nails.
6. ADDICT PICKING
Gel nails eventually turned me into a pseudo meth addict. Determined to get the gel nails off without the assistance of acetone, I started picking. I was chipping the polish of my nails bit by bit, like a prisoner trying to break out of prison using a sharpened tooth brush. My new full-time hobby became trying to remove this layer of gel nails that was permanently fixated to my body, much to the chagrin of my boyfriend. Following his request that I stop peeling my nails off, I started picking in his absence. Picture this: he gets out of the car to pump gas and I am furiously picking at my nails, stealing glances out the window to see if he’s coming like some kind of addict. NEVER get gel nails.
7. POCKMARK NAILS
See that lovely picture of my nails? I promise you they didn’t look like that before. Whether you get the acetone bath first or just addict pick at home, you can be assured that your nails will look like a meth addicts face. It’s disturbing. My nails are flaking. They are brittle, riveted and ugly. Without a coat of clear polish over them I am sure they’d break. It looks like I have some awful nail disease. I feel like a should scream leper when I walk into a room. NEVER get gel nails.
I have haven’t convinced you, scroll back up to the top and take another gander at those nails. You don’t want that. Don’t get stuck in the gel hell cycle. Save yourself while there’s still time. And finally, NEVER get gel nails.